truly, madly, deeply

(picture from photographer and journalist Elliot Erwitt)
the alleged most romantic day of the year is here. daniel and I don’t celebrate valentine’s day because of my whole “it's just greedy corporate america's proganda” belief. and cupid, not the roman god but concept of a flying cherub shooting arrows at people, kinda scares me. so we're going about this thursday as if it's any thursday. however, yesterday I was in this mood where I wanted to reminisce about... when I first I liked him, when we first held hands, when we had our first date, when we agreed to be in a relationship together, when we first kissed (or rather, when I decided to be forward and be the one to initiate the kissing), and when I realized I had fallen in love with him.

the notion of love was first entertained a month into the relationship. I brought him home for Thanksgiving to spend the holiday with my family, and by family I mean family- mum, dad, brother, sister, my mum's three sisters and two brothers and their respective spouses, and a plethora of cousins. I was afraid my family would overwhelm him, especially since he grew up with little-to-no family around. I, on the other hand, am defined and come with a large family. my sister and my mum's sister's daughter are my best friends; I think of my parents as great friends (most of the time), not in the cliched way, but as two people who I can turn to in all matters of life (love, boys, clothes etc.) as much as I can to my girlfriends; my aunts are like my second and third mothers and because the women in my family are extremely inquisitive and talkative, there are no secrets- whatever my mum knows, aunts usually know too... anyway, he met the family and he became part of family that weekend. he embarrassed himself in front of family (which is another story) but family embraced him and treated him as our own.

I questioned the depth of my affections. was it love? did I love him? there were many reasons to: he was God-loving and oh-so talented; he was sweet and such a gentlemen; he was growing sideburns for me. but as a girl who had decided to fully guard her heart, who was praying earnestly to only have one love in her lifetime, I knew I didn't love him then because whether or not he was "the one" was still ambiguous.

couple of amazing months later, Christmas arrived and we were (physically) apart for a few weeks; he in ottawa and I with my family in Toronto. of course I missed him while we were apart, but it wasn't until the Christmas break was over and we were back in school, that I realized I didn't want to be apart from him ever again.

I can still remember the details of that moment of epiphany- I was wearing blue and extremely excited for him to see my new haircut. I was sitting on that old L-shaped couch of 242 Victoria St and waiting ever-so patiently for him to come over. the moment he walked into the apartment, God whispered into my ear, "he is yours to love forever". and it was then, that I began to love him.

do you remember that moment you were in love?